I am going on a trip.

Those familiar with the Baggage Claim project will know that one goal of that project was to prepare myself to be a professional speaker and life coach.  I chose to go through the John Maxwell Group for that preparation, and it is time for me to go to the certification event in Orlando.  However, I chose a rather unusual way to get there.
​
I am taking the train.  Taking the train is not unusual.  Lots of people take trains everyday.  However, taking the train from St. Louis to Orlando is probably a bit odd.  The route goes from St Louis to Chicago, then to Washington DC, and then to Orlando.  When I tell people this, everyone asks “why?”

The train is cheaper than flying, a few hundred less at the time I booked my tickets.  It made some financial sense (although if I were employed at the time of booking, I would not have opted for the longer trip).  From what I hear, the train involves less stress than flying.  Bonus!

Driving would have been cheaper and shorter, but recovery has a cost.  In learning to make healthy choices regarding depression, I realize that I should not be alone in a car for 15 hours.  There is more to this reason, I understand, and perhaps I will write more on it soon.

In the end, my wife and I decided that this train trip could accomplish a few things.  First, it gets me to Orlando to complete the certification process.  Next, it gives me some down time.  This down time will be used for reading, writing, and processing everything this conference will be teaching.  Finally, it fulfills a long held desire of mine to ride the rails.  I promise to be dignified and reserved on the platform, but inside, I’ll be like this:
​

There is the added bonus of getting to visit my brother and some old friends along the way.  I will be posting lots of updates and travelogs so stay tuned!  It promises to be quite a week!

At the beginning of the month, I accepted a position as a hospice chaplain.  This seems to be a good fit for me, since I have the education and 15 years of experience in pastoral ministry.  It does not have all the stressors of pastoring a church, and for someone who burned out on church work, it fits well.

If you know me personally, or you read my blog, then you know that I struggle with very severe depression and anxiety.  This has caused some to wonder if I am going to be ok constantly dealing with death.

It is true that my work week is always surrounding death.  I visit people who are not expected to live longer than 6 months.  I also have the responsibility of visiting everyone for whom death is imminent.  I attend as many as 3 funerals per week.  I make phone calls to grieving families, and I am getting ready to begin a grief support group.  It is true that I am surrounded by death.

People mean well when they ask me if this job is going to be ok.  I know a lot of people worry about my depression and how I am doing as I deal with it.  However, what I am finding is that being around sad things does not magnify depression.  Granted, I need to keep it all in check.  Being around sad things can make me feel sad, but that is different from depression.

There is a temptation to think that the best way to deal with depression is to avoid any sad or difficult aspect of life.  This might be necessary in a crisis situation, but it is not a good way to approach depression.  It is impossible to live life and not have to deal with anything sad or difficult.  Thus, the only way to avoid such things is to withdraw from life, and that kind of thinking leads to addiction.

To truly overcome depression, I have to learn to deal with the things in life that are sad or difficult.  In this regard, my new job has been a tremendous help to me.  Every day, I have to face the fact that death and grief are real parts of life.  There are healthy ways to grieve and there are unhealthy ways to grieve, but we will all grieve at some time or another.

This morning, my pastor spoke about a story in the gospel of John, chapter 6.  The disciples had set out across the sea of Galilea.  Halfway across, they encounter a severe storm.  Then, in the midst of such fear and trial, they see what they believe is a ghost.  It is not a ghost, however, it is Jesus, walking on the water.  He tells them, “Do not be afraid, I am here.”  However, the most literal translation from the original language is “Do not be afraid, the I am is here.”

Jesus refers to himself as ‘I am’ in other parts of scripture.  The ‘I Am’ is not a reference to self, but to God.  When Jesus called himself the I AM, he was using the name that God introduced himself to Moses with.  

There is something else interesting about John’s telling of this story.  He leaves out the part where Jesus calms the storm.  It seems that the point John wants to make is this: To know Jesus and to know who He is antithetical to fear.  I have no need to fear because Jesus is the great I am and He is with me.

Thinking back about how a person might struggle with depression but face everyday difficulties, it is important to note that Jesus need not calm every storm in my life.  It is enough to know Him and to know that He is near.  There is no need to hide, no need to withdraw.  There is endless glory in facing the day with Jesus.

Below are some answers to the most common questions that I am asked about Street Preacher.  Frankly THE most common question deals with the ending, so I have to leave that out for fear of spoilers.  If you have a question, you want answered, either ask on Facebook or drop me a line at aaron@authoraaron.com  

Where did you get the idea for the main character and this story?

I read a lot of stories by Flannery O’Conner.  It is safe to say that those stories inspired the creation of this character.  The hat, in particular, is an obvious homage.   I created the character several years earlier and then decided to see what his story might be.  There is actually a lot of backstory to John, and Walter for that matter.  I once wrote an interview between a college student seeking to learn about homeless people and John.  The college student eventually became the character of Jennifer.

John says he once lived in Cincinnati, but never says what town the story takes place in.  Where is it?

I always imagined the story to be in my hometown of Springfield, MO.  People familiar with the city will note the similarities but I mixed up a few details along the way.  I merged two neighborhoods of Springfield, (downtown and “C-street”) to form a fictitious city.

Why doesn’t John have a last name?

I gave John a fairly generic first name (no offense to any readers named, “John.”) and no last name because homeless people are fairly vague to the rest of society.  We form opinions about them and make assumptions about them without ever really knowing them.  From the homeless people that I have met, I can say that they are as different as any other part of society.

Do you work with homeless people?  Is that how you knew about them?

No, I do not.  For that reason, people should not base an understanding of homeless people on details in Street Preacher.  The lives of the men in the book are purely fictional.  I have met many homeless people.  The church I served in Hawaii frequently visited homeless camps, and I got to know them that way.

Of the two people that work at the homeless shelter, why is Jennifer so eager to help and Marty is somewhat aloof?

Jennifer is a young woman that is ready to take on every problem and make the world a better place.  Marty is the director of a homeless shelter.  Marty has seen more failures than he can count.  He also constantly fights the battles of budgets and volunteers and is often on the losing end since he is advocating for something that most people do not care about.  If Marty appears aloof or skeptical, it is because he has been doing this for a while.  Jennifer has not yet had the chance to become jaded.

If you have noticed these differences between Marty and Jennifer, then you may notice that many of the characters represent a particular view of faith, thus all having something different to say about John.

What do you want people to get from reading this book?

I hope people enjoy a good story and maybe think about what it means to really believe in something. 

I really like this book.  What can I do to help you as an author?

Tell your friends about it and post reviews on Amazon and other places.  There are millions of books out there and the only way people will find out about this one is if you tell people about it.

Are you going to write anymore books?

I have just finished the rough draft of a non-fiction book tentatively called, “Baggage Claim: my journey through ministry, depression, and finding peace.”  Watch my Facebook page and website for any news or help the project along at www.gofundme.com/baggageclaim

I am also working on another novel.  I do not want to give many details but it involves a cop and a serial killer and deals with the themes of vengeance and grace.  Stay tuned!

This is part of a series of reflections on the Apostles’ Creed

I believe in God,
the Father almighty,
Maker of Heaven and Earth
And in Jesus Christ, His only Son our Lord;
who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,
born of the Virgin Mary;
suffered under Pontius Pilate
was crucified, dead, and buried.
He descended into hell,
The third day, He rose from the dead.
He ascended into heaven,
And sitting on the right hand of God the Father almighty
from thence He shall come to judge the quick and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
The holy catholic Church
The communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body
and the life everlasting.  Amen.

There are two lines in the Apostles’ Creed that deal with the Virgin Birth.  This is an aspect of the Christian faith that causes many to be embarrassed, after all, how can someone in modern times believe in a virgin birth?

However, it is important that we remember that in this creed we have already affirmed that God is the maker of all things.  (the Nicene creed will go even further, following the first chapter of John in the claim that all things were made through Jesus).  If God exists, and if he is the maker of all things, including humanity, then it is logical that such a God may create a human being apart from sexual reproduction.  This is exactly the claim that is made when Christians affirm that Jesus was conceived by the Holy Spirit.

The virgin birth was part of the prophesy of a coming messiah, or Christ.  Isaiah made the prophesy to King Ahaz:

“Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel” (Isaiah 7:14 ESV)

The prophecy given to Ahaz is vast.  It includes his own undoing, but then reaches far out into the future and proclaims that a virgin will give birth to a son, and that son may be called “God With Us” (translation of Immanuel)

There are some that point to the vagueness of the Hebrew ‘almah as perhaps only meaning a young woman and thus reducing this claim to perhaps any child.  However, where the Hebrew may mean “virgin” or “young woman” it is clear from he Septuagint (parthenos) that the understanding here was of a miraculous, virgin birth.

However, all of the linguistic and theological wrangling over the notion of a virgin birth can cause us to miss the even greater miracle foreseen here:  God with us!

The promise of messiah is more than just a righteous ruler, but rather God joining his creation in order to reconcile and restore it.  The coming of the Christ would not just be miraculous for the sake of proof, but miraculous for the sake of His mission.

In the birth of Jesus something was set in motion: a plan to reconcile God’s people to himself.  It is a miracle wider than the very division stuck between God and Humanity.  Now the end of the division is in sight, for the promised one is born!

This is part of a series of reflections on the Apostles’ Creed

I believe in God,
the Father almighty,
Maker of Heaven and Earth
And in Jesus Christ, His only Son our Lord;
who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,
born of the Virgin Mary;
suffered under Pontius Pilate
was crucified, dead, and buried.
He descended into hell,
The third day, He rose from the dead.
He ascended into heaven,
And sitting on the right hand of God the Father almighty
from thence He shall come to judge the quick and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
The holy catholic Church
The communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body
and the life everlasting.  Amen.

Having accepted Jesus as the only begotten of the Father and as such the Christ, we now come to another fact about the Jesus:  the virgin birth, and more precisely, that he was conceived by the Holy Spirit.

I will not get bogged down at this point by questioning miracles in general.  The assumption that a God exists that created the world is an assumption that God can work miracles.  It is however important to fully understand what exactly this miracle was and what it was not.

 There are many myths in which gods have sex with humans.  This is not that kind of story.  Attempts to paint it as such will completely misunderstand the significance of what happened.  In fact, none of the words used to describe the event are references to sexual reproduction.

Instead, the notion of being conceived by the Holy Spirit is more akin to the creation of Adam with God breathing life into this new creation.

This is what must be, for Jesus did not come just to show us a new way, but rather to be a way.  As such, He must be a new creation, uncorrupted by sin.  He is the second Adam.

Some are tempted to dismiss the virgin birth, embarrassed by such a story in modern times.  Yet, the ancient Christians devoted two lines of the Apostles’ Creed to it.  They did so because it points to the very nature of what Christ would do.

It is not enough that a person could come along and obey the Old Testament law.  This would not make a person righteous or sinless.  Sin existed before the law, and the law does not exist to show righteousness, but rather to expose sin.  The law exists for sinners.  Consider what Paul wrote to the Christians in Rome:

For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. (Romans 8:3-4 ESV)

Jesus came to do what we could not:  fulfill the law.  He came to do what the law could not: restore righteousness.  In sending Jesus, God gave humanity a do-over.  This time, however, sin is defeated in Christ, and new creation that we may also become new creations.

The subject of my most hated Christmas song comes up every year. To hate any traditional Christmas song will immediately lead to suspicions that I am the Grinch, I know, but I hate so many songs, that there is bound to be a Christmas song or two.

Knowing full well, that you may suspect that my heart is two sizes two small, I want to discuss The Little Drummer Boy. No, I do not dislike this song because of its historical inaccuracy. I’ll let that go since we are not actually discussing the theology of the Little Drummer Boy. I generally leave my historical criticisms at “who are all those white guys in the nativity scene?” No, it is not the twisting of history that bothers me; it is the message. Yes, I hate the message of that song.

If you have spent much time in church, you know what a horrible temptation a microphone can be. Every church has at least one person that, if not properly restrained, will desire to serve the Lord with the one gift He has not given them: song. Lack of talent will not stop this person, for it is not the Lord they are after but the wonderful attention that only a microphone brings. How many songs have been butchered? How many wonderful worship moments have been ruined because one person decided that was the time and place to belt an off-key rendition of whatever sappy quasi-spiritual country song happens to be popular that week? That person, my friends, is the Little Drummer Boy.

I cannot imagine a single woman appreciating a small child banging his drum around her newborn baby. Yet, the Little Drummer Boy seems to think it is perfectly acceptable for him to torture the eardrums of Mary, Joseph, some humble shepherds, and the infant Jesus.

Now, some will say that the song is not about that at all. They will plead with me that the Little Drummer Boy plays his drum because it is his talent, his gift. It is all he has to give to Jesus. They will argue that the Little Drummer Boy sets an example for us all by giving his talents to the Lord.

I agree. If that is what the Little Drummer Boy does, then he is setting a fine example. However, that only holds true IF the Little Drummer Boy can actually play the drums. However, if he cannot play the drums; if that is not his gift; then all he is showing is an example of selfish pride. And I submit to you that the Little Drummer Boy is no drummer at all.

Consider for a moment what a drummer does. At the core of his art, the drummer has one function: to keep time. That is what a drummer does. In fact, a drummer can do nothing else at all if he cannot first keep the time. However, in the song, “The Little Drummer Boy” it clearly states that the “ox and lamb kept time.” If you are depending on the livestock to keep the beat, my friend, you are not a drummer.
​
The Little Drummer boy has secured his place in Christmas tradition on the basis that he could play the drums; that it is all he could do. In reality, he cannot. He is not a drummer. Playing the drums is not his gift to bring, but his own ego demanding attention. I say its high time we send him off to figure out what it is that he can do and stop that infernal racket!

This is part 4 of Reflections on the Apostles' Creed.  You can find previous parts here: part 1, part 2, part 3.

Even though it takes an active faith to believe that God exists, let alone who He then is in relation to ourselves, it is not enough.  It is said that even demons believe in God and they tremble.  So the choice cannot simply be, “Am I a theist or an atheist?”  Now comes the moment that pulls the Christian out of the vast world of theism.  For the Christian is not just a believer in God but also a believer in Jesus, with some very particular beliefs about who Jesus is.
In the Apostles’ Creed, we state three things right off as to who Jesus is.

1. He is Christ
2. He is God’s only son.
3. He is our Lord

​It is important to understand the uniqueness of these claims.  First, to claim that Jesus is the Christ is to say that He is the Messiah, that long awaited promised one of the Old Testament.  The Old Testament prophesies are so numerous regarding the Messiah that it quickly dispatches what the Messiah is not.  He must be a priest, but not only a priest.  He must be a prophet, but not only a prophet.  He must be a King, but not only a King.

It is common to think of Jesus as just a teacher, much like Buddha is to Buddhists or Muhammad is to Islam.  It is true that he taught, but Jesus cannot just be a teacher and fill the role of Christ.  Jesus claimed to be God.  Such a claim fits within the role of Christ.  C.S. Lewis famously points out that such a claim makes him one of three things:  a liar, a lunatic, or Lord.

If He is the Christ, then He is certainly different from any key figure of other religions, for He is God’s only son.  It is common to think of all people as God’s children but such a claim is not biblical.  There is a difference between being God’s creation and being God’s begotten.  Just like the claims of a Christ, the claims of being God’s begotten separates Jesus from other religious leaders.  In most world religions, the key figure is someone who knows much about God.  In Christianity, the key figure is someone who is God.

Which brings about the next claim, He is our Lord.  He is the one to whom we submit our will.  To call Jesus lord is to claim his authority over our lives, an authority that is only matched by God the Father.

There was a moment in Jesus’ earthly ministry when the multitudes quit following.  They enjoyed the miracles.  They enjoyed the teachings of mercy.  Perhaps they even enjoyed seeing the religious leaders of the day scolded for their heavy burden of laws and offerings.  However, when Jesus began to make peculiar claims about being God, specifically being the actual bread of heaven on which they may live, the crowds left.

We reach this moment in the Apostles’ Creed.  Is it enough to believe in God?  Is it enough to acknowledge God as an Almighty father, who has created all things, myself included.  Why take this next step from theism to Christianity?

Consider the words of Simon Peter as the multitudes walked away:

“Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.” John 6:68-69 ESV

Peter knew that no one else had answers like Jesus.  For many claimed to know the way, but Jesus claimed to be the way.  This profound difference led Peter to believe that Jesus was the Christ, the promised Messiah.

Once again, we are at a point where active faith must be employed.  We must choose to believe and we do this because no other choice offers all that Jesus offers.  There is no other choice offered that claims to be the way.  No other choice can justify us completely before God.

We actively choose that Jesus is the Holy One of God, and we submit ourselves to His Lordship.

This is part 3 of Reflections on the Apostle's Creed.  Be sure to also see Part 1 and Part 2

Having made the brave choice to believe in God, and then acknoweledged him as that Father of all Fathers, that One who may know me more intimately than anyone else possibly is able, I now must consider another atributre of God.  Now I must consider that He is the Creator.

A few years ago, I visited the Chicago Art Institute.  I have never been the kind of person that spend a lot of time in Art museums.  I appreciate art, yes, but it has never captured my attention.  At least is had not until that day.  The Van Gogh room changed everything for me.  To see his work in person made a profound impact.  Much has been said of Van Gogh.  Some say he was a madman.  Others say he forsook the powerful life of a clergyman in order to live among the poor.  All I know of him is what I see in his work.  There is passion there.  That is evident by the sheer amount of pain on the canvas.  I cannot fathom that he ever considered a work finished.  I imagine that he painted and painted, always creating, always striving for that perfect image he had in his mind.  Such it is to be a creator.

It is easy enough to believe that God is creative.  If I bear even a broken image of him, then the fact that I want to create things, to write songs, to tell stories, to share poetry suggests something about his nature.  All humanity has this innate love of creating.  There is a satisfaction like no other than to be able to say, "I imade this."  I cannot help but to think I inherited this creative nature.

However, it is not enough to suggest that God is creative.  In the Apostles' Creed, I now come to a place where I affirm that not only has He created, but that He is the creator of all things.  For there is nothing that exisits outside of Heaven and Earth except for God Himself.  The natural world, all I know of it, all I do not know, and all that is unknowable is within his handiwork.

"I made the earth    
and created man on it;
it was my hands that stretched out the heavens,
and I commanded all their host." Isaiah 45:12, ESV

Consider this claim.  As far as the heavens stretch (infinite), God has created and commanded.  This claim is made in the context of the the LORD using for all accounts, an unbeliever, to deliver His people.  God reminds his prophet Isaiah that no one is outside of his creation that He cannot command and use.

This claim that God created Heaven and Earth, is far more than just a creation myth.  All religions have creation myths and most are satisfied with the notion that "my god created me, and your god created you."  But this claim is larger.  This claim is that God created all things.  He created the known, the unknown, and even the unkowable.  He created those who do not claim Him.  Nothing is beyond his inherint authority as Creator.

And yet, in all this, He created man on it.  The Father Almighty has chosen to place me in his creation.  Not at its center.  There is enough narcisism in the world without me thinking that God has made everything for me.  No, He created for His own purpose, but it is enough to realize that in a work that encompasses all things, He found a place for me.

This is part 2 of reflections on the Apostles Creed.  See Part 1 here.

It is not enough to claim belief in the existence of God.  Such a claim will naturally hold a belief in the nature of God as well.  That brings the next three words, "The Father Almighty."

The idea suggests both a relationship and an ability.  The concept of God as father is a difficult one these days.  There are attempts to side-step this with notions of friend, lover, brother, and even mother.  While there may be elements of truth in each, the fact remains that biblically, and historically, God has first been known as Father.

This is difficult for many because in our modern times we have a desperate lack of fatherhood.  Abandonment, abuse, and all manner of dissapointment may be wrapped up in our definition of the word Father.  As a pastor, I would frequently see people bristle at the notion that God was their Father.

Now it could be that in ancient times, calling God, "father" was merely a means of saying that He was the creator, the first cause.  I think, however, that there is something in the relationship aspect.  And this something is magnified when we get the next word: Almighty.

Jeremiah considered this in this passage:

"Am I a God at hand, declares the Lord, and not a God far away? Can a man hide himself in secret places so that I cannot see him? declares the Lord. Do I not fill heaven and earth? declares the Lord." Jeremiah 23:23-24 ESV

God is near, present.  He is present even in the most secret places.  He fills both heaven and earth, thus no place exists that He is not there.

Such power, knowledge, and presence allows us to bring any dissapointment with earthly fathers to the Fatherhood of God.  For God is able to know us more intimately than any person possibly can.  No one may know our thoughts, no matter how much they desire or even how much we desire it of them.  They cannot know what goes on in the most secret or places, our thought-life.  Yet God is there.  God is there, and he still desires to call us his own.

The great songwriter, Bill Mallonee spoke of this in his song, Every Father Knows.  When I hear this song, I'm reminded of all the places I wander and how far away from God I may think I am, and yet He is always there and still calling me His.